Justin Trudeau was all smiles today, claiming his new $600+ million ad election campaign, EMOTIONAL DISTANCE IS THE NEW SOCIAL DISTANCE, was more successful than his team could have possibly imagined.
“If I accomplished nothing else with this campaign – and trust me, I did not – it was all worth it. Individuals across this great land now know who to emotionally distance themselves from this Thanksgiving and as we move into the holiday season. Canadians will be mentally and emotionally healthier, as they are able to avoid family, friends, and neighbours who self-identified as members or supporters of the PPC party, thanks to our brilliant campaign, say it with me, folks: EMOTIONAL DISTANCE IS THE NEW SOCIAL DISTANCE.”
As COVID proliferates across the county at alarming speed, the Liberal government, who had previously promised not to hold a federal election during the current health crisis, knew they had to reverse their stance in a swift effort to do something about the heavy emotional and mental toll many Canadians are facing. Sure, they could’ve spent that $600 million on clean drinking water for Indigenous Canadians. But discovering exactly where the dumb, selfish assholes on your block live is super important, too.