Co-Worker Won’t Stop Shouting Pronouns After Taking Mandated Sensitivity Training

by Darcia Armstrong
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woman in office learns pronouns

After undergoing HR mandated sensitivity training for various but consistent micro-aggressions, Janet MacDonald of Toronto, Ontario, has been driving her coworkers absolutely bonkers.

Upon completion of training and spending many hours learning and practicing how not to be an asshole, Janet claims to be a “changed woman”.

“I have dropped all subtle racism from my email communications, and I’m sure people really appreciate that,” said a beaming MacDonald. “I’ve also stopped commenting on the “ethnic” smell of foods in the break room and, most impressive, if I do say so, myself, I’ve learned how to refer to a singular person as THEY and THEM!” MacDonald continued, “I don’t want to brag but I am a really good, super tolerant ALLY now.”

When we asked co-worker Sam Marquez how they felt about MacDonald’s self-proclaimed transformation, they rolled their eyes and sighed heavily before answering. “Look, I appreciate the HR mandated effort, but she’s kinda picked up this one, uh, habit that’s, well…”

Before Marquez could continue, MacDonald entered the meeting room while obviously doing her best to look surprised to see us.

“Oh, I see you’re interviewing Sam, aren’t THEY amazing? THEY are such a good co-worker! I don’t know what we’d do without THEM,” MacDonald said with a toothy grin. “You should talk to Ruby in accounting next. THEY are also a great co-worker, and I enjoy working with THEM, too. If you need me to describe THEM to you, THEY are BLACK with a capital B not a lower-case b and-”

“Thank you, Janet, that will be all,” Sam interrupted, shooing her out of the meeting room.

“So yeah,” said Sam, picking up where they left off. “That’s the new habit. It’s a little jarring. I mean, the intermittent shouting is putting a lot of people on edge. But I guess she’s trying… And besides, how do you explain this one to HR? Until we figure that out, I guess we’ll just continue to appreciate her enthusiasm.”

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